• anjelika1002

The golden edge of our wounds

Updated: Sep 3, 2021

Hurt does not have to break you

We live in a consumer society where we often impatiently throw away broken things and relationships to substitute them with something new and fresh. We might treat ourselves with the same attitude when we hide our mistakes, our wounds and detest our failures.

Recently, I came across the concept of Kintsugi which inspired me. It is a Japanese philosophical concept and artistic approach when broken pottery is mended with gold paint to remind about us of the impermanence and fragility of things. The broken pottery with golden or silver lines running through it is appreciated and valued as something unique; it also reminds us about resilience and possibility of healing.

Broken at some points in our life, compassion and self-acceptance are like glue of gold, it unites the fragments of ourselves and our lives. Scars shine with light of love for who we were and who we have become.

Connecting to the beauty of poetry, art and nature might help to recognise something important about oneself. Heartache, the shiver, any sign and response can be attended to as a sudden entry of connection with oneself, your life story and meaning. These moments of meeting with oneself may be collected into an album and shared with your therapist or significant other.

Another Japanese art is haiku, which has a brief poetic form that is very contemplative and symbolic. Soseki has written about despair and loneliness:

Over the wintry

forest, winds howl in rage

with no leaves to blow.

It might seem that you suffer alone, and the whole world is against you. It might be completely counterintuitive, but turning with empathy towards others at such times may prove to be healing. It might be something small, like a smile or a 'thank you'. It might be something bigger, like volunteering and giving your time to others: the ill, disabled, old and frail, the poor... We are often waiting for someone to love us and warm up our loneliness. What if you make the first step?

A world of dew

and within every dewdrop

a world of struggle


Perhaps, all you can manage right now is to step outside the cage of suffering and ask for help, reaching out to your partner, friend or a therapistand that is an amazing step to take.

A young woman

planting seedlings

plants towards her crying baby


Perhaps, you recognise the part of you that is hurting as well as the part that can look after it like that mother moving closer.

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